Problems

When dealing with a problem between you and someone else..... My suggestion is to, when speaking to the other person, start of by saying something like "We have a problem....." The reason is that it puts you and the other on the "same side" while the "problem" is the enemy of you both. Once you're both on the same side, then you can, together, explore possible solutions to the problem. By establishing shared ownership of the problem, the hard feelings have less chance to creep into one's perspective.

The reality is that us people can only think of one thing at a time so if one adopts a positive perspective, and looking for the solution to a problem is positive, there's no room for the negatives.

One more thing I have to say is that every problem already has a solution so the biggest effort anyone has is to search for it.

Finally, this too shall pass. The trick is to help it pass like ships in the night and not like a kidney stone. The ships like to have everyone working together!

Languages

Every once in a while in Corporate Computer-Land, we’d get a survey and one question asked if we spoke any other languages. I learned early on that I had to be my own ombudsman so rather than leave the response blank, I always listed 2 items so that my “skill” set was broader. The first was the infamous Acronym Language (Annoyingly Cryptic References Or Names You Make). There’s a boatload of acronyms in the computer world and since everyone was somewhat conversant I always added the second item. This was Pig Latin. I felt pretty safe listing both languages, and they could be considered languages to those who don’t speak either, because I knew I wouldn’t end up on some project in some obscure corner of the world simply because I spoke the local language.

The Last Time I was Spanked

When I did wrong, my Dad used to spank me. At the time I didn't know that it hurt him as much as it hurt me. The hurt was just different.

My Mom wanted me to learn to play the piano. I'd much rather play than to travel across town to copy notes to a scale and plink around on a piano.

I skipped the lesson one time. On that particularly beautiful day the lure of the swimming pool was just too strong. When asked to explain, I planned on just saying, "I forgot" even though I hadn't. In thinking about my excuse, I decided that I might need a backup plan to stave off any possible physical repercussions so I bought a package of my Dad's favorite candy.

The swimming was great. Afterwards, I scurried home on my bike to carry out my plan. I placed the candy under my pillow thinking that I'd pull it out in a triumph of love prior to my Dad doling out the spanking I figured I was due. I was far too slow and I got the spanking before I could hold up the candy shield. I remember sitting there, crying, as I pulled the package of candy out from under my pillow. I held it up to my Dad, saying, "Here Dad, I bought this for you because I love you."

My Dad just melted. He never spanked me again. Even though I did get my well-deserved spanking, it worked out very well in the end. That was my last spanking.

My Favorite Movie

When my son was brand new I was still cooking professionally. The last place I cooked was not the classic French cuisine I cooked at the Olympic Hotel’s Golden Lion. It was at Fasano’s in Issaquah, simply because I worked days, Monday through Friday.

Anyway, Fasano’s was chosen as a location for a made-for-TV movie named The Secret Life of John Chapman. The star was Ralph Waite, the daddy on the Waltons. He was a college professor who didn’t understand his kids because he’d never worked anywhere but a university. He therefore took a sabbatical to “work in the real world” to better understand the son. One place he worked was a restaurant. Fasano’s was it. I was the “experienced” cook and he came in knowing nothing. I was supposed to be an extra but after the first scene they made me an actor instead. This was partially because even though I had told Ralph that the bread drawer would come all the way out to the floor if, upon opening it, one didn’t stand close enough he pulled it all the way out. At least he didn’t hit his foot as it could have broken a toe. The scene was still filming as he picked the drawer up to try to get it back in place. He couldn’t get it reinserted in the tracks and I knew he was dying out there so I jumped in and took the drawer and put it back in place. As I took the drawer I looked at him and adlibbed “Are you sure you’ve done this before!” With the drawer back in place, the scene ended.

The movie was a good experience and actually the bucks earned as an actor rather than an extra finished paying for the raggedy ol’ Trev’s entry into the world. He’s my son. Of all the movies I’ve ever seen, that’s the one that sticks out most in my mind.

Silence

My mother used to say, “It’s better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” It would seem to me that this advice might be embraced by many, if not most, in congress. Those who spew forth opinions as if they were facts and end up calling others names simply because their opinions differ clearly should learn that silence is the best and surest way to hide ignorance.

The Corporate Costume

I was guilty of caving in and wearing the attire or costume inflicted on people living in corporate America.

After going to business casual, I had a dark blue, collared, pullover shirt that was a favorite. Unfortunately it developed a small, ¼ inch, hole over the heart. I was wearing it one day when my manager noticed the hole and promptly mandated that I ought NOT to wear shirts with holes, no matter how small.

Now, given the fact that I don’t do orders well, every once in a while I’d forget and wear the shirt. I’d never realize it until I was at work. Having a fairly well-developed ability to consider alternatives, the first time I wore it I thought of my options.

The first was to go home and change. I immediately rejected that as not practical. Therefore I needed an alternative.

It took about a minute to realize that if my manager couldn’t see the hole, it wouldn’t morph into an issue. So I set out to find a dark blue marker, one of those with the thick tips. I proceeded to place a ½ inch dot behind the hole, thus masking it from view.

My manager never noticed the hole so I used the background dotting with that shirt from that point on. It worked well.

"You", not "I"

Have you noticed that when folks are interviewed by a reporter after some disconcerting event, they describe their feelings with the pronoun "you" and not the first person singular pronoun of "I"?

I can't help but wonder if, by using the "you" the person being interviewed prefers to describe their feelings from a group perspective so that they aren't alone in experiencing them. It seems to me that anonymity is broader in a group and personal responsibility is lessened.